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06 April 2011 @ 12:05 am
The time is shit...  
Title: Café
Pairing: Jiyong/Seungri, Jiyong/Hyunseung
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Of backstage meeting and accidental coffee-dates


It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t something that Jiyong had been looking for. It just happened.

It started with an unexpected meeting backstage and it ended with a reminiscing of days long past over a cup of coffee. A sharing of moments before B to the I to the G, before the rise of a dragon and VI like this.

They both had changed but they still felt an unspoken understanding and Jiyong found it refreshing to talk freely with someone outside his own family. As for Hyunseung, he never really had gotten over his small fanboy crush and secretly relished in having Jiyong’s complete attention, even if it only lasted one cup.

One cup turned into two cups and two cups turned into not-so-accidentally weekly meetings. They never set a date beforehand but always ended up meeting each other every week at a certain table at a certain hour in a certain shop. Unless, they had conflicting schedules, which was more often than not but then there were the social calls.

“Hello, hyung. Fighting!”
“You’re so cute!”


Some habits never die.

---

Jiyong was waving his hand excitedly through the air and Hyunseung wondered which was more expressive: his gestures or his face. Listening to Jiyong telling a tale about his latest photo shoot that somehow involved a goldfish, Hyunseung felt a wave of nostalgia. Those eyes, sparkling with mirth, transported him right back to a small practice studio when time was always running ahead and sleep never seemed to catch up. It reminded him of late night conversations, nagging doubts and tired bodies. It also reminded him of leaders and certain maknaes and how, even then, they seemed to shape themselves around each other or did that happen afterwards?

At that time, he didn’t think much. In fact, he didn’t think at all. Between dreaming and dancing, there simply was no time left to see more than your own run-down appearance in the mirror. Looking back, there was no way he could have seen it or at least, that’s what he told himself when watching Jiyong’s smiling eyes and trying to catch up with his train of logic.

They both smiled over the rim of their cup, sitting at a designer coffee table that was so small that their knees constantly bumped against each other and Hyunseung could easily count Jiyong’s every single eyelash. Another dream ago, he wouldn’t have thought twice about linking their hands and whispering some silly secrets in exposed skin but now, he felt distance. Barren wasteland.

Crack. Crack. Crack.

---

“So, how is everyone?”

Jiyong, who had been dissecting his pastry with a little fork, glanced up with a puzzled face looking all kinds of dork with little crumbs frosting his upper lip, “Hmm?”

Some things never change, Hyunseung thought affectionately, “The guys? How are they?”

“Oh! Oh.” Jiyong sat himself more straight, a faraway expression on his face and Hyunseung pretended not to notice the guarded look in his eyes while he talked. Just like he pretended not to feel slightly hurt.

“They’re all doing great. Great but busy. Ah. You know, “ more expressive hand gestures, “with their solo activities and all. Youngbae has his concert. He’s working himself in a tizzy over every little detail, of course.”

“Of course.”

“And Daesung-ie is really excited about his film-project. Doesn’t stop smiling.” Jiyong gave a ghastly rendition of Daesung’s eye smile before he returned his attention back to his pastry, wielding the little fork like it were a scalpel. Hyunseung shuddered at the thought.

“2NE1 seems to be receiving a lot of love with their new album. They’re giving us a run for our money!”

Jiyong grinned widely, “Cause we’re so bad bad but we’re so good good.”

He didn’t bother to ask about Seungri and Jiyong didn’t bother to point it out. It was an unspoken agreement: two is company, three is a crowd and victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat. Hyunseung took another sip of his coffee and pretended not to count the amount of texts Jiyong sent under the table (eight) or how he eagerly reached for his cell each time it zoomed, signaling a new text (five).

Hyunseung suddenly found his cell phone tune oddly poetic.

You’re my heart, heart, heart, heart.

Heart-breaker.

No way.

---

Another setting, another backstage of another music show and they could have been strangers. Sure, TOP-hyung came over to greet him warmly and Daesung gave him a friendly shout but G-Dragon? He was in full leader-mode, observing his members with utmost concentration, or at least, one of his members got his full attention. He followed Jiyong’s line of sight and told himself that the tug at his heart was just another heartbeat when he saw Seungri. Or was it VI? Victory? Lee Seunghyun? Maknae? No, not just any maknae. His maknae.

Just another heartbeat, Hyunseung thought again. Just another heartbeat.

Seungri, completely oblivious, effortlessly kept Jiyong’s sole attention and Hyunseung allowed himself to wonder, for one fleeting moment, if he too would have been Jiyong’s maknae too if things had turned out differently.

“He still has that picture of you both.”

He turned around and walked right into Youngbae’s welcoming smile.

“You know”, Youngbae added, “When we went out and Seungri couldn’t come because he was sick.”

“I remember.”

“He still carries it around in his bag.”

Hyungseung kept silent, vague memories of that day swirling through his mind. “ I also remember that he kept taking all those pictures to show them to Seungri.”

He let out a long sigh before giving Youngbae a thin smile. “I guess that when the prizes were handed out, we realised that we were just the background in the picture.”

They both had been too preoccupied with chasing dreams and chasing after certain dreams to really see each other then but at this particular moment, they both shared a look of understanding. It spoke of yearning and loneliness and slightly-cracked-hearts but the tiny lines, embedded in the corners of their eyes, told a story of passing years and acceptance and love.

“Love is never alone.” Youngbae said. “It’s something that can be shared.” Unconsciously, he looked up and glanced at Seungri.

“He doesn’t know, does he?”

“Who?” Youngbae asked in a voice so soft that Hyunseung thought it could slay mountains of grief, “ Seungri?”

He paused and then laughed with his moon-shaped eyes, “Of course, not. Jiyong would never allow Seungri to know.”

As in an unspoken agreement, they both looked up and watched Jiyong and Seungri. The leader was still observing the maknae and the maknae was still pretending to be oblivious.

“Of course,” Youngbae continued, “Seungri never lets Jiyong on that he already knows. He told me once and that’s when I realised that you can never loose something that was never meant to be yours.”

They were still watching them and it was clear that Jiyong’s cool, observant glance was turning more and more into an irritated glare with every passing second that Seungri ignored him. Hyunseung was about to comment when Jiyong turned his gaze in their direction and, with a huge grin on his face came running towards them.

“Hyunseung-ie! Yea! Don’t keep yourself to Youngbae only! I’m your hyung too!” Although he made valid attempts to pout, Jiyong’s smile was wide and irresistible. Hyunseung had always been defenceless against the warmth and invitation behind his smiles and he felt that familiar pull of gravitation, luring him right out of his comfort zone.

With anyone else, Hyunseung would have resented the ease which with he had surrendered but as it was, he just offered him a small smile. “Hello, hyung. You look well.”

“Yea! Don’t sound so surprised. Isn’t your hyung always looking well?” Jiyong swung an arm around his shoulders and made himself completely at home in Hyunseung’s breathing room and as always, he shifted around to make space for him.

Youngbae offered him a sympathetic glance and clapped him on the back. “Good to see you again, Hyunseung. Don’t be a stranger now.”

And with another nod he nonchalantly went over towards Seungri. Even from where he was standing he could see the happiness that crinkled in Seungri’s eyes when Youngbae called his name.

Hyunseung didn’t have to look at Jiyong’s face to know that he was irritated as he could hear him murmur certain things about certain brats and certain consequences in his ear.

“You know,” Huynseung smiled at Jiyong, “that he’s ignoring you on purpose, don’t you?”

If Jiyong was shocked about his direct question, he didn’t show it but he did gave him a sharp and long look. At long last, he threw his head back and laughed out loud. “Yea! What exactly were you and Youngbae discussing, just now? Hmm... ?“

“Well, someone has to make sure you’re not doing anything foolish.”

“Ah, my cute, loveable dongsaeng.” Jiyong sighed, turning serious again, “I’m afraid that it’s already too late. Hyung is already a fool in love.” He sighed again and rested his head on Hyungseung’s shoulder and finally, finally, Lee Seunghuyn looked up.

He looked at them and Hyunseung was momentarily stunned by the clear and straightforward look in his eyes but then Seungri’s face softened while he gave his leader a small smile. Knowing that he wasn’t included, he wanted to look away but there was something enthralling about the way Jiyong ducked his head in shyness and the tenderness that lingered in the corners of Seungri’s eyes. It spoke of such intimacy and love that Hyunseung truly felt like an intruder.

Oh, Hyunseung thought, oh and that last little flame he still carried in his heart silently went out. He waited for a pang of regret but as he looked down on Jiyong’s head, still resting on his shoulder, he only felt a lingering warmth, like the echo of a late summer sun and he realised that his heart had knew all along.

I’m so sorry but I love you.. It’s all lies.

---

It was inevitable that they would meet and as it happened to be, they met in the restroom, not by their choice but life has an odd sense of humour. Hyunseung was washing his hands when Seungri leisurely walked in. Their eyes met in the mirror and for a moment, Hyunseung saw that awkward kid with the too big eyes in a too small face before it gave way to the image of the man standing before him.

“Hyunseung-shi. I’m happy to see you.” Seungri’s loud voice almost sounded misplaced, if not for the endearing way he bobbed his head up and down in excitement. The hand clasped on his shoulder felt warm and reassuring but there was strength in the honesty blazing from his eyes. Hyunseung almost felt surprised that he couldn’t suppress a happy grin when he realised that Seungri actually meant it.

“Seungri-ah! Hello. You look good.” He kept on smiling and before he could to put too much thought in it, he pulled Seungri closer in a quick hug.

They let go and Hyunseung took another good look at Seungri. “You really do look. You grew up rather nicely for a country bumpkin.”

“Thank you.” Seungri smiled modestly, “It’s mostly good genes. Unlike some others who have to work for it.” He wriggled his eyebrows for good measure. And just like that, they fell back into the easy pattern of their trainee days.

And he remembered. He remembered Lee Seunghyun. An awkward kid with too big eyes in a too small face. A kid who could become cocky in the blink of an eye and thrived on attention with his smooth dance moves and confident posing. He hadn’t seen the vulnerability underneath but now he understood what he had failed to see then.

“You’ll take care of him, won’t you?”

Seungri didn’t blink but a charming red coloured his ears as he shuffled his feet in embarrassement. Hyunseung could almost see the appeal and he could easily imagine a certain leader, delighting in the sight.

“Your place is still yours, you know?”

“Yeah. I know.”

And it was true, he did know. There would always be a Hyunseung and a Jiyong and there would always be a Hyunseung-and-a-Jiyong but he would never be his.

“I need to get back to them. They’ll wonder where I’m.” Seungri didn’t say it but Hyunseung could clearly hear the underlying possessiveness and for the first time, he didn’t feel a pang of jealousy when he heard it.

They took their goodbyes and when Seungri left, he heard him answering his phone. “Yea! I’m on my way. What? No! Yes, yes, yes. Wait for me?”

Hyunseung thought it only fitting that they shared the same ringtone.

---

“How’s Seungri?”

For a moment, Hyunseung thought Jiyong hadn’t heard him as he was absentmindedly chewing on his nails but then he looked up and the happiness shining from his eyes, cut right through his heart.

“We’re great.”

Jiyong gave him another dazzling smile and somewhere, someplace Seungri felt the sun in his heart.

Hyunseung thought the warmth felt rather nice in the shadows too.
 
 
 
brioff_my_socks on April 6th, 2011 12:30 am (UTC)
i love this. a lot. i'm a sucker for longing and almost heartbreak without melodrama.
dailanche: gri glompdailanche on April 6th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC)
I love myself some angst too but only if there's a happy ending :)

Thank you for reading!
(Deleted comment)
dailanche: gri bloodtype commercialdailanche on April 6th, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
I confess, I'm rather possessive too in the sense that only Seungri belongs to Jiyong and vice versa. So, I'm not really a fan of Hyunseung either but he did grow on me a bit while writing this :)

Thank you for your lovely comment!
Amieaishiteru_amie on April 6th, 2011 01:51 am (UTC)
this. is. so. fucking. good!!
i'm a ri bias, so i stand firm that i believe ri is the best.
but this, makes me feel a little heartbreak for hyunseung.
and it obvious that no matter who ji's flirting with, he'll come back to only one person.
the smile, the laughter, the eyes, the body expression, it say it all.
he's a very happy person because of seungri.
thank you for this!
dailanche: Gridailanche on April 6th, 2011 06:16 pm (UTC)
oh! Your comment made me blush!

Thank you!!
Amieaishiteru_amie on April 7th, 2011 02:26 am (UTC)
and i hope u'll write more gri fics in the future!!
dailanchedailanche on April 7th, 2011 07:44 pm (UTC)
I'm trying :)

It's just that I have little confidence and I'm also very picky so my writing pace is rather slow but thank you for the encouragement :)
マァヤ-ちゃん: Masaki -jailkyten_zstutsuru on April 6th, 2011 01:13 pm (UTC)
;u; nawww

this was really cute ^u^ sad but cute

i haven't gotten to read alot of BB stuff so this is the first of this pairing and i really love how you wrote it <3 yay
dailanche: gri glompdailanche on April 6th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC)
Welcome to G-ri land!

Since this is practically your first g-ri fic, I'm really happy that you enjoyed it then!

Thank you for reading :)
マァヤ-ちゃんkyten_zstutsuru on April 6th, 2011 06:23 pm (UTC)
haha yeah, i love the pairing though dont get me wrong XD i just havnt read much fanfics lately <3 but i'm glad i read this ^^

your welcome! hope to read more of your works :3
(Deleted comment)
dailanche: Gridailanche on April 6th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
bollywoodrecord: Suzybollywoodrecord on April 6th, 2011 11:36 pm (UTC)
This is so sad and sweet and I just love it to itsy bitsy pieces. You are a wonderful writer, you know? :)

A sharing of moments before B to the I to the G, before the rise of a dragon and VI like this.

This is a line of total meaning and quality and it's just.. An epic line. XD

He remembered Lee Seunghyun. An awkward kid with too big eyes in a too small face. A kid who could become cocky in the blink of an eye and thrived on attention with his smooth dance moves and confident posing.

Haha, I can never love Seungri enough. :) Thank you so much for writing, this whole story was ♥.
dailanchedailanche on April 7th, 2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your thoughtful comment and I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :)

And Seungri has a way of sneaking himself in a story, even if that was not the intention of the author. Bless him :)


stupidefleurk: EWANstupidefleurk on April 7th, 2011 12:34 pm (UTC)
YOU WOMAN!WHY DON'T YOU WRITE MORE?!This was wonderful *o*
dailanchedailanche on April 7th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
I DO WRITE MORE! I JUST HAVE THE CONFIDENCE OF A GOLDFISH AND THE TEMPO OF A SNAIL...

but thank you so much for your comment :)
brandy_cognac on April 16th, 2011 04:29 am (UTC)
Can I translate it into Vietnamese?
I like this fic ^^
I'm sure it will be full credit :d
dailanchedailanche on April 17th, 2011 07:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow! This is the first time someone asked to translate one of my fics.

I'd be honoured if you'd translate this.

Thank you :)
this is strictly a lab partnershipvvipforseungri on May 28th, 2014 08:42 pm (UTC)
real talk this is one of the first gris i ever read haha i loved it then, too!
dailanchedailanche on May 28th, 2014 09:20 pm (UTC)
lol! 2011? where is the time!
Glad you liked it, especially since this popped your cherry ;)

what! No! retreat! 2011? you were 15 then? OMG CRYING
this is strictly a lab partnershipvvipforseungri on May 29th, 2014 01:43 am (UTC)
your warning is def pg15 lol smh... though warnings never bothered me anyway